Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
