Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
