if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
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