He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
