Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
