Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
