the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
