At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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