I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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