Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think your dad took our porno
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
