girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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