She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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