What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
