we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
