I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
