well I can't set my house on fire every night
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
