Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
