Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My dick has a subreddit
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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