In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We have started to decorate penises.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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