Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
