im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize