You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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