Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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