eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
