I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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