He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
