woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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