Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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