Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
