i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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