oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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