There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize