I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
