similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
