Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
