Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
