I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
