I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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