I'm so fucking centered right now
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
