Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
