He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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