were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
