1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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