I just pynch a tree in the face
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
What a dumb baby whore.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
