jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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