talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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