you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i think my mom watched the whole time
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
