Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
