he thought i was a dude.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
