Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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