Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
