Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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