i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
