Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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