I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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