It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
not ubering you a puppy
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
