I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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