SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
