if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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