Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
