im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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