lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
