Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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